Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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