there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
