Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
