Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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