I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
