just tell him i said nine months
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
