Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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