Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
