he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
