If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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