We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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