It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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