just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
