Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize