He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize