They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
