If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
