and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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