I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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