Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
