Sponge bath it is.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
