but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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