I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
