When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
