I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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