She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
