Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
