Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize