We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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