he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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