there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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