i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
