ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
