he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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