Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
