One girl and one boy is just not enough.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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