So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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