I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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