You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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