So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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