She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
