You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
