lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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