in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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