I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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