During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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