Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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