My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
