thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
