We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
