It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
