i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
