Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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