Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
