Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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