Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
