What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
