am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
