You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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