just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
