why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
