Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize