her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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