is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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