I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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