why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
