Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
